I think loneliness is a just a little like depression, it's an isolating emotion, and it's a lying one.
It is a sneaky little voice inside that tells us we are the only one that feels like this, it lists the myriad ways in which we are different or left out. There's a lot of talk of how technology is impacting on loneliness, making us feel less and less connected to each other even though we have more and more access to tiny details of each other's lives.
So who do we blame? Often technology.
Technology though is an easy target.
Yes our culture has shifted and continues to shift rapidly, due to technology and us adapting to the way it can be used and impact on our lives and relationships. We're increasingly encouraged to see each other as competition and not as company. We're bombarded by the right way to look, think and feel through technology, and especially television. But the thing is that it doesn't control us, and in fact it is just other people on the other end of technology pushing these messages towards us.
Technology doesn't isolate us, it truly can connect us, not just superficially but our very hearts can reach each other over insanely vast distances. We can get to know each other in the most beautiful ways without ever getting to sit at the same table.
What distances us is that tricky lonely voice, the one that tells us we are separate and different. Separate and inferior. Some of us are surrounded by people and still remain lonely, because that connection, the feeling of being really heard is missing. We all want to be truly seen, and loved.
But loneliness tries to outstrip that need. It tells us that in order to not be seen as less than we have to pretend we're not lonely, and that in fact everything is going brilliantly. That we're much too busy to fit in the very things that would rid us of loneliness.
If we truly want to move away from loneliness we need to be brave put our hands up, raise our voices and say,
"Hey I'm lonely, and I'd love some company."
It's hard, especially as an adult to do this, it feels as if you're admitting a flaw. It's time to let go of that flawed ideal, of people totally independent and capable, of not needing anyone else. I for one am a woman who can build my own home, create a kitchen and the things to cook it in, produce beautiful imagery and words. But what would any of that be worth if I didn't have the company and collaboration of other human beings?
A lot of us talk about making time for ME time, myself included, after all it's a big portion of what Mama Nourish is all about. But here's the thing, we don't just need ME time we also need WE time.
It's important for us to find connections, it's great if we're able to make them face to face, it's also wonderful if we reach out across the electronic abyss and find them there.
Make time for WE time, and reach out to break away from the trickery of loneliness. find those connections. None of us need to be lonely.